Current:Home > NewsHis wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment. -AssetLink
His wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment.
View
Date:2025-04-14 13:52:31
Grief affects us all – but not in ways we always consider. People die, yes, but so do pets. We can grieve dreams, jobs, our health, past versions of ourselves. Grief is not linear; it does not come in stages, a common misconception. It's unique to the individual.
After embarking on a series to document different grief journeys, we asked for your input. What kinds of grief had you experienced? Would you be willing to share your story publicly?
With more than 120 responses and counting, here's a look at what some of you shared. You can submit your own story here.
Bill Badgley, 72
"(My wife) Carol was hit by a falling tree as she walked home. She was found by a neighbor. By the time I was notified and could get to the scene, she was in an ambulance but a pool of blood and the downed tree were still there. In the ambulance, the blood was soaking her pillow, but she opened her eyes when I spoke her name. The tree broke ribs and vertebrae and caused a traumatic brain injury. A piece of her skull was removed to allow for swelling of the brain. Carol lived for 11 weeks in the hospital where I went to be with her every day.
The day before she died, she fought to come back a last time and returned my kiss twice, the only time this happened in the 11 weeks. I wrote and delivered Carol’s memorial service. I needed to do it. I focused on four lessons that Carol had taught me, the most important being that love is the miracle. Our grave marker will say as much. Now that she’s gone, the trauma of the event and the hospitalization does not recede. I remain angry and bewildered about how this could happen. How I see nature and life has changed. I am incredibly lost without Carol. I am diminished and no longer whole. I have a small urn with some of her ashes. There are pictures of her on either side. There is a sculpture of a loon, Carol’s favorite bird. There are some shells that we collected together on Sanibel Island, including left and right angel wing shells. I greet Carol every morning. I speak to her before bed. 'I love you. I miss you. Please be with me when you can. Please wait for me.'"
Melissa Monroe, 54
"When a military friend pointed out that the paralyzing guilt I suffered after my 2-year-old daughter Alice died of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) was a product of PTSD, I dismissed him. 'I have not been to war! My symptoms do not deserve to be considered PTSD.' I argued. As an acupuncturist specializing in mental health, I was familiar with the signs. Still, I had not recognized them in myself until my friend’s patient insistence led me to consult the checklist. Then I realized he was right.
I was one of the increasing number of bereaved parents who experienced traumatic guilt, which is associated with heightened suicidal ideation. Trauma-related guilt commonly presents with both grief and PTSD but is less widely discussed than other symptoms. It can occur following any type of loss but is particularly predominant among bereaved parents."
In case you missed:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Brooke Westlake, 42
"I was my grandma Bev's primary caretaker ... she had Alzheimer’s for 10 years … When she died it was just me and her. I was holding her. She took one breathe and left. It was like I watched her soul float away.
Her only child and son, and my biological father died three years later. His death was pretty horrific and heartbreaking. He had struggled with drug and alcohol addiction his entire life.
July of 2022, I helped my stepfather with end of life care. We got five lovely days together before he started the transition. I helped my mom with the process, because she had never been through the death process. And April of this year (2023), my grandpa Don, my father's dad, died. I was able to see him before he passed, but it was also overwhelming to know that was the last time we would see each other. I tried to stay positive the entire time, but broke down crying on and off. It’s been several years of grief stacked up on top of each other. Some days I’m grateful that the people I love are no longer suffering and then other days I just wish they were still here, so I could see them, hug them, laugh with them, cry with them, talk with them. All these wonderful people I have cherished and lost have all one thing in common. We all loved laughing together.
In 2024, I’m getting a very specific tattoo for each of them on their birthdays with their signature, from how they would sign cards or letters to me."
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to reach someone with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They're available 24 hours a day and provide services in multiple languages.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Have you seen?'The Golden Bachelor,' 'Selling Sunset' and grieving on TV
veryGood! (93)
Related
- Will the 'Yellowstone' finale be the last episode? What we know about Season 6, spinoffs
- Why Jesse Palmer Definitely Thinks There Will Be a Golden Bachelorette
- Apartment fire in northwestern Spain kills 4 people, including 3 children
- 'Something is going to happen': Jerry Seinfeld teases 'Seinfeld' reunion
- FACT FOCUS: Inspector general’s Jan. 6 report misrepresented as proof of FBI setup
- Lidia dissipates after killing 1, injuring 2 near Mexico resort, Atlantic sees Tropical Storm Sean
- Here's Why it's Hard to Make Money as an Amazon Seller
- Australian-Chinese journalist detained for 3 years in China returns to Australia
- Megan Fox's ex Brian Austin Green tells Machine Gun Kelly to 'grow up'
- In 'Dicks: The Musical', broad jokes, narrow audience
Ranking
- Opinion: Gianni Infantino, FIFA sell souls and 2034 World Cup for Saudi Arabia's billions
- Black student suspended over his hairstyle to be sent to an alternative education program
- Capitol riot prosecutors seek prison for former Michigan candidate for governor
- She's the star witness against Sam Bankman-Fried. Her testimony was explosive
- Federal Spending Freeze Could Have Widespread Impact on Environment, Emergency Management
- Walmart will build a $350M milk plant in south Georgia as the retailer expands dairy supply control
- Oklahoma man who spent 30 years in prison for rape is exonerated after DNA testing: I have never lost hope
- A company cancels its plans to recover more Titanic artifacts. Its renowned expert died on the Titan
Recommendation
Stamford Road collision sends motorcyclist flying; driver arrested
Coast Guard recovers presumed human remains and debris from Titan sub implosion
7th charged after Korean woman’s body found in trunk, with 1 suspect saying he was a victim too
Rena Sofer returns to ‘General Hospital’ as fan favorite Lois after more than 25 years
Highlights from Trump’s interview with Time magazine
Orioles get swept for 1st time in 2023, lose AL Division Series in 3 games to Rangers
Mauricio Umansky Reacts to Romance Rumors After Dinner Date With Leslie Bega
Woman faces charges after 58-year-old man dies in her care at Michigan nursing home